Helium: Idiots Debating Stupid Stuff

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The website at Helium.com has a debate hosted on its pages that is entitled “Should the Oscars honor movie producers too?” and most of the arguments against run a little like this:

Producers in the motion picture industry are no different than music producers. They’re people that put forth large amounts of cash to make a movie possible.

That’s why Timbaland is so hot now: he’s got the Benjamins. Nevertheless, this seems to be a common argument. Another debator says pretty much the same thing:

Oscars should be handed out for the ARTISTIC contribution to movies – not financial.

This one is nice:

As a non-practicing film director, I can appreciate the role of a producer. If I knew one, I might actually be a practicing filmmaker, but that is neither here nor there.

What exactly is a “non-practicing film director”? Is that someone who has made movies in the past, but is now retired? If so, I understand and apology, but I don’t think that’s the case: I think it’s more likely that he just pretends to be a film maker in his mind, much the same way that I’m a non-practicing rock star.

(And it seems strange that the guy who thinks his status as an imaginary director is irrelevant in the argument uses it as the first paragraph of his argument.)

Here’s another good one by the same guy:

So, in short, no, producers should not get Oscars. Perhaps they can all get together and give each other Produceys instead, if they want an award so badly. [I added the link myself – GTK]

I feel kind of guilty about even pointing that out with that last link (that Producers have a guild and give awards) because it totally ruins the next guy’s argument:

If honor is to be bestowed on producers they should form a guild and give awards.

This next one, though, takes the cake (receives the Award?). Sadly, though, among arguments against Producers being honored, it’s the 7th highest rated of the 7. These people just don’t know genius when they see it. I give you, Genius:

Like it’s happen,for example to all that women that,time ago had made to belive of to have to do a spiritual marriage with God,with out to know that God it’s here in flesh (And just only for this reason don’t need of spirituals marriages,in consideration that if really do you want to marry him do you can to do it with-out problems),and much more again with out to know that with the by them, so to do know,in the reality they had made just only a marriage with a donkey,that then,to the place of the “Genius” had putted in all them just only a donkey,with that so evident result that do you can to see alone with what’s happen with Britney Spears,for example

Not only did I give you Genius there, I “had putted in all them just only a donkey.” So you know it’s special.

Just in case you’re wondering: yes, most of the people who answered “Yes” knew that Producers were the ones that received the Best Picture Award, thus rendering the question as meaningless as “Do you think that things should start falling when they drop them?” But I don’t know. I guess I’m being critical. The whole thing makes sense if you just ignore the “too,” sort of like the Highlander franchise.


And, just in case there are any other writers out there wondering what kind of prestige a writer has on Helium, a website dedicated to writing:

The aim is to reward achievement that fits within one of these two categories. Arts, with a capital ‘A’, denote the performing arts related to movie making. Primarily, these include acting and direction, but they also include such things as original song, screenplays and costume design

There you have it, folks: Writing, just a little less important than the original song. (I guess I can’t complain, though, that is one of the main reasons I like Armageddon.)


Written by Greg Karber

July 15, 2009 at 6:30 am

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