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KFC Double Down Sandwich

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Is anyone concerned that the Double Down Sandwich, seen above (and estimated by the Vancouver Sun to contain 1228 calories, far greater than the inexplicably low 590 that KFC “guessed”–they haven’t done real work-ups yet) seems to bear a shocking resemblance to Tracy Jordan’s Meat Machine?

Tracy Jordan: “Dr. Spaceman, is it true that bread rots your brain?”

Dr. Spaceman: “We have no way of knowing, because the powerful bread lobby keeps blocking my research!

MEAT IS THE NEW BREAD!

Also, I thought maybe it’ll be nice to quote Col. Sanders at a time like this. So, here’s Col. Sanders on KFC’s mashed potatoes (and yes, this is a real quote): “That friggin’ … outfit …. They prostituted every goddamn thing I had. I had the greatest gravy in the world and those sons of bitches they dragged it out and extended it and watered it down that I’m so goddamn mad.”

I love that the colonel will say “goddamn” but not “fucking.” He was quite the gentleman. Speaking of the Colonel, did you know that he wasn’t really a colonel?,

Kentucky Governor Ruby Laffoon made him an honorary “Kentucky Colonel,” a title which carries no duties or priveleges save membership in the Honorable Order of Kentucky Colonels. After this, Harland Sanders decided to start calling himself “Colonel” and dressing like a Southern gentlemen in order to promote himself.

You know, it’s sad when you can’t even trust the mascot of an international fast-food business. Next thing, we’re gonna find out that Ronald’s not a clown and the King is a tyrant.

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