Ways in Which My Roommate, Eric, Has Cheated at Clue

with 6 comments

1. Peeking inside the envelope when other players weren’t looking.

2. Lying and saying that he had neither Col. Mustard, nor the knife, when he most definitely had both.

3. Moving Prof. Plum to the Hall when it was neither his figure nor turn.

4. Inventing new room, the Arboretum, and insisting other players “rule it out” before giving final guess.

5. Claiming a secret passageway transported his figure to a Monopoly board, allowing it to reap huge benefits in hotel construction, thus securing a high-priced attorney for defense.

6. Grabbing the board by its edges and hurling it into the air, and then declaring that, because the game did not reach completion, it must be declared a draw.

7. Requiring “proof beyond a reasonable doubt,” rather than contents of “diminutive and questionable manilla envelope.”

8. Attempting to kill his opponents with a tiny plastic knife.


Written by Greg Karber

August 29, 2009 at 6:11 pm

6 Responses

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  1. This is funny. I haven’t played Clue in so long. The other day I drove by a house that actually had a conservatory.


    August 29, 2009 at 6:50 pm

  2. Yeah, I wish I had a conservatory. That’s awesome, though: could you see any dead Boddys? (HA! Clue references are so funny.)

    Greg Karber

    August 29, 2009 at 6:58 pm

  3. probably one of the funniest things i’ve ever read. no. 7 was my favorite. however, our clue game had a metal knife, which made the possibility of no.8 occuring significantly more terrifying.


    September 3, 2009 at 8:43 am

  4. The worst way to die would be to get stabbed to death by a useless board game token.

    Or, I guess, drowning in poop.

    Greg Karber

    September 3, 2009 at 10:05 pm

  5. thank you, very interesting idea


    January 20, 2010 at 8:52 am

  6. I too have a roommate eric, they sound a lot alike. haha

    lisa g

    April 2, 2010 at 10:21 am

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