Torture, torture, lunch, torture, torture, afternoon tea, torture, torture, quick shower–

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According to the Parents Television Council, Jack Bauer encounters someone who needs torturing an average of twelve times a day. Although, I think that the days depicted on 24 are probably the more action-packed in Jack’s life, and that there are probably days where he tortures no more than two or three people.

Still, an average Jack Bauer day would probably be something like Eddie Izzard’s skit about Pol Pot, except replace “death” with “torture”:

[Pol Pot’s] diary must look odd: “Get up in the morning, death, death, death, death, death, death, death – lunch- death, death, death -afternoon tea – death, death, death – quick shower…” So I suppose we’re glad that Pol Pot’s under house arrest… you know, 1.7 million people. At least he – we know where he is – under house arrest! Just don’t go in that fucking house, you know? I know a lot of people who’d love to be under house arrest! They bring you your food… “Just stay here? Oh, all right.

(That’s from a complete transcript of Dressed to Kill. But please, watch it yourself first. It’s a Netflix Instant Watch!)

Anyway, I only bring this up because, according to a Newsweek article, the people developing and implementing our policy regarding torture cited Jack Bauer more often than the Constitution. Which seems to me like planning a high school curriculum based on reruns of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.


Written by Greg Karber

May 4, 2010 at 5:32 pm

Posted in Ramble

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